So my boss hey buddy! Told me to write a blog to not be bored when I go on maternity leave. But here I am 2 months out from that at 1030 pm and can’t sleep so thought I’d catch a early start.
So I’m 23 whooo and pregnant as you can guess and I’ve worked out some pretty cool things I thought I’d share with you.
First of all people suck. Not all people not most people but some people just generally suck and are just peices of crap that don’t deserve your God dam time.
Second pregnancy it’s this beautiful miracle that you can grow something in your wee tummy.
I call Bullshit. If I’m not struck with the morning sickness and I’m in my third trimester guys I’m stuck with being tired or sore or whining for the sake of it. Never mind the fact that when I roll over in bed it’s like I’m on the titanic truling to grasp ahold of one side of a door to keep a float. I love my human but I hate what she’s doing to me.
I’m starving all the fucking time and then guess what I’ll just throw it up ten mins later.
Shea kicking aww it’s so beautiful bitch do you know what it’s like to get constantly smacked in what feels like your ribs or vagina at 4am when you have work the next day.
And the labour videos my God why the hell did I watch these?? Now Im to scared to have her don’t want to keep her in and don’t have a bloody time machine to go back n not have sex. EVER.
I’m so fat n tired that I’m currently eating ice cream with my bloody finger coz I dropped the spoon somewere on the floor n I was sitting here n the dark crying because I ran out of the right flavour do have to settle for shitty vanilla as that’s what the hormones do.. they make you crazy like full bath shit crazy you’ve lost your bananas.
But it’s fine because I have this shitty flavour ice cream tonight. And I have my cat. So like at least he loves me even though I’m bonkers.
I just don’t know how these other pregnant people do it like did I just get all the shitty luck or am I just more up front about it and there the ones that lock themselves in the pantry and have a good old dam fashioned cry.
Well that’s all for tonight. I’ve had too many sick days from Mowning sickness better not do it again tomorow.
Night all.